Next Bird and Hair

The next series for the blog are more funky... mostly playful caricatures. This was not reflective on the state of my innermost heart...in all reality it seemed in opposition to my emotions and whenever I looked at the works I felt a sense of dis-equalibrium (something that is required for the learning process to work for the brain). I still to this day, do not know where they came from...although considering it in this moment - possibly shock. 

I don't know how honest to be to the world in these pages. How much detail to write about my life? I guess its going to be a trial and error experience for all of us. I did read a new friend's work today and was inspired by her fresh honesty so maybe I will feel out that trend. 

This life is a journey that seems to be constantly intersected and influenced positively and otherwise by other human beings making their life journeys. I don't know if I impact other people's lives as dramatically as I feel others impact on mine. I fear at times that the responses I have are disproportionate to the events or narrative as it plays out. I cannot control how I respond - (well to some degree I can at least try to adopt social norms) but on this occasion, I could only hurt and be sad, as these drawings were made after a relationship I had with a great teacher changed dramatically, and I was experiencing disappointment that I didn't really want to have to face. I guess that is denial...part of the grief process. The story went that a significant teacher over the last twenty years made some choices that seemed inconsistent with the way he had lived the rest of his life and the choices were a shock to me. I was not prepared for the change this brought about in my life and to various layers of my world that was already in a stage of transition and flux. I have over time found meaning connected to the life of my teacher, and my own responses to adapting to change. Its not over. Love is a strange thing and has multiple textures, surfaces, layers and levels. Grief seems to need to get in touch with all those multiplicities of layer and texture until its done its work within. It can feel like grief and the unconscious mind know the nerves of love better than I do with my conscious mind. I hope you find my two friends entertaining in opposition to how I was feeling!! Or maybe you can bring some light into my life about their existence in grief and loss! 

 Bird and cage.

 Blue and Red, and Hair.